The post that will be gibberish to most of you

I have no idea why I needed to do this so much. In a way I blame mmagoo6 from Ravelry and in another way I just blame insomnia, complete boredom with the endless rows of stockingette in my ballet camisole and generally stupidity.

So...ON-ON people. Need something to mop your brow at the wet check, need to wipe down your beer at the drink stop, looking for the perfect way to say "Screw You" to your favourite Grand Master? Maybe this is just what your Spiritual Advisor is looking for to cleanse the foreheads of the newly christened and what hash tart should wash with anything less?

Yarn: Something cotton or cotton blend in a DK or worsted weight

Needles: 4mm

Gauge: Get over yourself, it is a cloth!

Notions: Darning Needle

On-on!

CO 40 sts

Row 1: (k1, p1) repeat to end

Row 2: (p1, k1) repeat to end

Row 3: Repeat row 1

Row 4: Repeat row 2

Row 5: k1, p1, k37, p1

Row 6: p1, k1, p14, k9, p14, k1

Row 7: k1, p1, k12, p11, k14, p1

Row 8: p1, k1, p12, k13, p12, k1

Row 9: k1, p1, k10, p15, k12, p1

Row 10: p1, k1, p11, k15, p11, k1

Row 11: k1, p1, k10, p15, k12, p1

Row 12: p1, k1, p11, k15, p11, k1

Row 13: k1, p1, k10, p15, k12, p1

Row 14: p1, k1, p11, k15, p11, k1

Row 15: k1, p1, k10, p15, k12, p1

Row 16: p1, k1, p1, k2, p2, k2, p4, k14, p4, k2, p2, k2, p2, k1

Row 17: k1, p1, k1, p2, k2, p2, k4, p14, k4, p2, k2, p2, k2, p1

Row 18: p1, k1, p1, k2, p1, k3, p4, k13, p5, k2, p1, k3, p2, k1

Row 19: k1, p1, k1, p3, k1, p2, k5, p12, k5, p3, k1, p2, k2, p1

Row 20: p1, k1, p1, k6, p5, k11, p6, k6, p2, k1

Row 21: k1, p1, k1, p2, k1, p3, k6, p11, k5, p2, k1, p3, k2, p1

Row 22: p1, k1, p1, k3, p1, k2, p5, k11, p6, k3, p1, k2, p2, k1

Row 23: k1, p1, k1, p2, k2, p2, k5, p13, k4, p2, k2, p2, k2, p1

Row 24: p1, k1, p1, k2, p2, k2, p4, k14, p4, k2, p2, k2, p2, k1

Row 25: k1, p1, k10, p16, k11, p1

Row 26: p1, k1, p3, k2, p4, k18, p4, k2, p4, k1

Row 27: k1, p1, k2, p4, k2, p20, k2, p4, k3. p1

Row 28: p1, k1, p1, k2, p2, k2, p1, k20, p1, k2, p2, k2, p2, k1

Wet check - best grab a beer!

Row 29: k1, p1, k1, p2, k2, p2, k1, p20, k1, p2, k2, p2, k2, p1

Row 30: p1, k1, p1, k2, p2, k2, p1, k20, p1, k2, p2, k2, p2, k1

Row 31: k1, p1, k1, p2, k2, p2, k1, p20, k1, p2, k2, p2, k2, p1

Row 32: p1, k1, p1, k2, p2, k2, p1, k20, p1, k2, p2, k2, p2, k1

Row 33: k1, p1, k1, p2, k2, p2, k1, p20, k1, p2, k2, p2, k2, p1

Row 34: p1, k1, p2, k4, p2, k20, p2, k4, p3, k1

Row 35: k1, p1, k3, p2, k3, p20, k3, p2, k4, p1

Hash Check - stand up, wander around aimlessly and wait for the slow bastards to catch up

Row 36: p1, k1, p8, k20, p9, k1

Row 37: k1, p1, k8, p20, k9, p1

Row 38: p1, k1, p9, p18, p10, k1

Row 39: k1, p1, k10, p16, k11, p1

Row 40: p1, k1, p11, k13, p13, k1

Row 41: k1, p1, k9, p2, k15, p1, k10, p1

Row 42: p1, k1, p8, k3, p2, k1, p3, k1, p3, k1, p2, k4, p9, k1

Row 43: k1, p1, k8, p4, k1, p3, k1, p3, k1, p3, k1, p3, k9, p1

Row 44: p1, k1, p9, k1, p2, k3, p1, k3, p1, k3, p1, k4, p9, k1

Row 45: k1, p1, k8, p4, k1, p3, k1, p3, k1, p3, k2, p1, k10, p1

Row 46: p1, k1, p17, k1, p3, k1, p2, k4, p9, k1

Row 47: k1, p1, k8, p4, k25, p1

Row 48: p1, k1, p24, k4, p9, k1

Row 49: k1, p1, k8, p4, k25, p1

Row 50: p1, k1, p25, k2, p10, k1

Row 51: k1, p1, k37, p1

Row 52: (p1, k1) repeat to end

Row 53: (k1, p1) repeat to end

Row 54: Repeat row 52

Row 55: Repeat row 53

Bind off and add hanger if desired.

On-after

I resisted the temptation for an on-back or any false trail. ;)

Now. Would anyone care to screw the pattern?

This pattern is provided free for your own personal use. You may knit it for yourself, as a gift, a swap or for charity. This pattern is not intended for commercial use. Any intended commercial use requires permission in writing.